Snakes on a silver screen

It’s been nearly a year since screenwriter Josh Friedman heckled the absurd Snakes on a Plane on his blog, sparking a blogosphere frenzy and Internet-culture hype over the silliness of the title and Samuel L. Jackson’s supposed role. Was Hollywood actually serious about this? Who would greenlight such a concept, anyway? After a while, no one particularly cared; regardless of Hollywood’s intentions, Snakes on a Plane was quickly becoming overhyped to the point of where any serious plotline or dramatic scene would still be laughed at hysterically.

Unfortunately, I had to work on Friday, so I couldn’t go to the premiere. Instead, I went to an 11pm late show on Friday evening. The theater was surprisingly empty — there were maybe sixty of us in all — and those that did show up were die-hard fans, excessively intoxicated, or both. During the movie, audience members yelled out-of-order Jackson catchphrases whenever appropriate. One threw rubber snakes onto the viewers in lower seats. Every time a cast member was killed by a snake, viewers applauded. When Jackson zapped cobras with stun guns or impaled vipers with a harpoon, cheers echoed throughout the room. And, of course, when Jackson delivered his famous “That’s it! I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” line, everyone, myself included, cheered, yelled, and recited along. It was a veritable interactive MST3K. Snakes on a Plane is more than just a crazy B-movie turned Internet phenomenon: Snakes on a Plane has the potential to be this generation’s Rocky Horror Picture Show. And, as Samuel L. Jackson proclaims in his viral phone message, yes, it’s that good.

Even if Snakes loses its phenomenon status due to overhype, it’s still the first movie I’ve gone to see without prodding from friends since Revenge of the Sith. With Hollywood becoming progressively bland and mainstream, as well as the accessibility of niche media online, I’ve just not had any movie motivate me enough to go see it in theaters. If Snakes hadn’t been created as a type of self-mockery, it, too, wouldn’t have pulled me away from my almost entirely movieless life. However, the idea of watching Sam Jackson beat the venom out of poorly-rendered CG snakes (as well as some live ones) was too impressive to ignore.

That said, there really isn’t a whole lot of snake-bashing. I had hoped to see Jackson go single-handedly into the infested coach class to beat up venomous reptiles using the dead bodies of their brethren. I secretly wished to see Jackson take on an anaconda with nothing but a makeshift weapon. Instead of seeing some serious snake ass-kicking, we’re given plenty of snakes kicking ass, which is only funny after the first ten or so people die. After that, the plot pretty much carries itself on with its exploitative, stereotypical characters, such as the gay-but-has-a-girlfriend male flight attendant, the ripped Asian kickboxer, the snooty British executive, and an obsessive-compulsive Kanye West ripoff. The Equilibrium-style, kung-fu violence is almost nil, and it’s one of the few disappointing parts about Snakes on a Plane.

Snakes does have its high points of stupidity, though, which keep the movie’s plotline grounded in a comic realm. During the end, a first-class passenger screams “Snakes!” from off-screen as the plane loses (and subsequently regains) power for what seems like the thirtieth time. The ambiguously sexually oriented flight attendant also lets out a hilariously out-of-character line as he microwaves a coral snake into oblivion. Even the snakes themselves add to the hilarity, as one becomes, uh, romantically entangled with a pheromone-soaked hibiscus lei and another dodges a stream of urine in a lavatory.

Meanwhile, the ground crew subplot also adds some awfully unconvincing acting. Take a bored FBI agent, a nerdy academic herpetologist, and a desert-dwelling snake smuggler, as well as the absolutely unconvincing mobster archnemesis, and you have plenty of ingredients for moments where you can’t help but groan and roll your eyes. Even these actors never seemed to take their roles seriously, and I doubt that they were part of the five-day reshoot which added extra profanity, gore, cliché, and stereotype.

Knowing Hollywood’s usual tendency to beat a dead horse, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear talks of a Snakes on a Plane sequel if the film ends up being successful. They could try all they want to match the absurdity of the original, but the sequel would still be largely devoid of the Internet hype which is half of Snakes on a Plane’s fun. If you haven’t seen Snakes yet, you have to. You’ll be out of the loop on all of the movie references this year otherwise.